There is no such thing as “time wasted”… everything you’ve ever done in your life has led you to this very moment! That nap you took that was longer than you’d liked, those hours you spent researching a topic you will probably never think about again, “lazy” days where you just sit with yourself… even if it doesn’t feel productive, all those are moments of your life that have shaped you and led you to the here and now. Because nothing in your life could have happened any other way. Life really is just little brushstrokes to create one big picture…
You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives.
This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be.
Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.
